WARNING: this topic may get pointed and/or may hit spots that you don't want it to. I warned you, so you can't say im a bad person...

okay, I wanna know how a child can feel anything towards a person they don't know. I mean, not just any person, like a father. Okay, my situation is that I have a step-father. He's okay, I absolutly hate him, but he makes my mom appy, so I live. Anyway, I never knew my father. He left when I was a baby. This never gave me any greif. Like, when kids used to ask me about my father, I would be like, "Dunno Him." and they would apologize as if thay had done something absolutly horrible. And their are some children who actually wanna know these people. If they left when you were a kid for another woman or for no apparent reason, then their obviously not worth all the fuss. I wanna know how these children, whom don't even know these people, can say things like, "I really miss him." or "How could he do that!" I just dont get it. I understand questions like, "I wonder who he is and what he's like and what he's doing with his life right now" but all that sentimental crap like, " I never had a father!!" *this is said with great emotions* i judt don't git. I know children with perfectly fine lives who have a loving mother and step-dad and they run around acting like, "I never had a dad, theirfore I was abused" and it makes me want to go and slap them in the face and say, "Neither did I, but im not crying! Now go and play with your dolls!!" god. Well...recently, my real dad has been e-mailing my mom, asking about me. So she replys. And suddenly, he wants my e-mail. So I give him the one I never use. And my mom comes to me and she says, "Well, how do you FEEL about this?" and im dumbfounded. I said, "How do I FEEL about what??" "You know sweety, your father e-mailing you" she says. All the while im thinking, " Would it be okay to tell her the truth and say I don't care what he does, or will she be upset about that?? Should I give a ****?? Should I actually think about it and even consider replying?? or should I just treat him like one of those people who you add cause they asked you to and then they never talk to you?? I call them trophy friends... Can I get away with using him as a Trophy Friend?? I swear im not giving this mofo my phone number. "   Yes, Im such a horrible person, I actually thought about all of that. Those were, actually, my exact thoughts at the moment. I ended up telling her I didn't care, and was a little shocked. But in the end she just said, " okay, dont set up any secret meetings with him" Which made me think..." Boy, meeting up with him might be a litle awkward. Not to mention I would treat as I do a complete stranger, whith my polite face and all. If he tried to hug me...lets hope he wouldn't. It would be awkward to kick him in his balls in public..." and yes, I would kick him in his balls in puplic if he ever tried to hug me. I don't even let step-dad do that. It's just odd. And, i also think if I kicked him in his balls in public...i might laugh. See, I know alot of people are gonna say im heartless, but I really wanna know, Is not caring about wheather or not your dad even cares about your existance that horrible?? Should I really care?? Should it bother me that I dont?? Plz, give me your true opinion, I promise that whatever it is, I wont git mad at you, since I did bring up the subject myself. oh, and thanks for reading this far.I know it was alot.